Sunday, August 30, 2009

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So my beta was negative. I didn't even ask if there was a number. The call hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't really feel pregnant. But I just didn't really expect to here it was negative either.

Well after having a good cry, lots of hugs from K, and lots of kisses from Bailey I took a deep breath and thought of some good things.

1. Tomorrow is our 6 year anniversary. 6 years of marriage to one of the greatest human beings ever created. We will celebrate with a nice dinner out.
2. Since I'm not pregnant I can have champagne to celebrate our anniversary.
3. Since I'm not pregnant I can have sex to celebrate our anniversary.
4. We have 6 more frosties and I can just roll into another cycle.
5. I don't have to shoot myself in the ass tonight and for another couple of weeks!

At my WTF appointment next week I'm going to ask about transferring 2 next time. I never felt totally comfortable with just one and now that this cycle didn't work I feel more strongly that we should try to increase our chances.

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry..... I have been saying an extra prayer you would get our much deserved BFP this cycle.

We have severe male factor infertilty and we transferred 2 blasts for our first FET and one tried to implant and stopped growing and the other became my now 6 month old son.

Our clinic is very conservative and we pushed to transfer 2 after transferring 1 did not work for our fresh cycle. They agreed and now always transfer 2 for some reason, day 3 or 5.

I am sending you prayers for your next FET.

((hugs))

Kelley

Michelle said...

I am so sorry about the BFN!!!

I hope you have a nice anniversary anyway and enjoy yourself.

((HUGS))

bencu said...

Happy Anniversary! I'm so sorry about your BFN. But how great you still have 6 frosties. You WILL be a mama!!

Stephanie said...

i'm so sorry the beta was negative. :( I was thinking about you all day yesterday.

Happy Anniversary to you! I hope you enjoy your nice dinner out and that champagne!

meinsideout said...

I am so sorry about the negative, that really, really stinks.

Happy Anniversary - my fifth anniversary is on the 4th - and I too am lucky to be married to an amazing person.

((HUGS))

Mo and Will said...

Oh Echloe, I am so so sorry about the negative. I was really hoping this would be it for you - you've been through so much! I have to say I'm impressed, though, by your ability to grieve and then pick yourself back up and focus on some of the positives. That demonstrates a real strength. Here with you.

Mo

callmemama said...

I'm so sorry about the negative beta :(.

I hope you manage to have a good anniversary anyway...

There have been quite a few successes from frozen cycles lately among IF bloggers, so I'll be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers for this next cycle that you also have success.

Tabitha said...

I am so sorry my dear, BFN's suck. I'm praying for you, and God will send you strength and peace and a BABY!!!

AshPash said...

BFN's are evil...I am so very sorry to hear your bad news. Think positive thoughts about all of the potential those frozen embies have in store for you. sending a hug.

Astrid said...

I'm sorry, that blows. But I'm glad you are able to look at the bright side, there are quite a few positives to appreciate, as you point out. I think transferring 2 is a good idea.

janessa said...

First things first. Happy Anniversary to you and K. I hope despite all that's going on, you're able to have a good time to celebrate how far you've come together and the future. Because there is hope in the future.

Secondly, I'm so sorry. I'll be thinking of you this week.

MabelB said...

So sorry about the beta. You are absolutely right though, you are in a great position going forward, you have some excellent embryos left and can go straight into the next FET as soon as you are ready. Enjoy your anniversary, there is a lot to be said for great champagne and the other thing for making the world seem better....

strongblonde said...

boo :( this sucks. i'm so sorry. i hope that you are able to transfer two next time!!!

happy anniversary!
xoxo

Sweet Georgia said...

So sorry about the negatvie beta. I love how you have chosen to focus on the positive and get right back into another cycle. I think 2 is the way to go next time as well.

Happy anniversary!

Bella said...

:( I'm so sorry. You constantly impress me with your strength. I hope you two have a great anniversary (with wine!) and that this next FET brings you a healthy baby. ((HUGS))

twelvegrapes said...

I'm so sorry. Enjoy this break from the craziness and seek peace. You still have those 6 frosties. It is such a roller coaster, but you just keep on keeping on. Have a happy anniversary, hon.

'Murgdan' said...

I'm so sorry :-(

theworms said...

I'm sorry and I'm sending you some (((HUGS))).

Enjoy your anniversary and drink lots of champagne.

Shelley said...

I'm sorry. :0(

Clio said...

Echloe... this is such a downer...
Hugs, big hugs.
nice that your hubby was there for you, and that it does look like you are not stopping, and you got a plan. I like the idea of transferring two frosties. I didn't remember you still had 6 waiting for you. :)))
wonderful ability to pick yourself up with the positives regarding your anniversary. My beta will be on the day of our anniversary... I'm sort of thinking the same thing... and whatever will be, will be.
much love to you

Simple said...

I just had a negative beta & I can't imagine what you are going through with the loss of your child too. Your strength & preserverance is insiprational. :)

CeCe said...

Hang in there, chica! Sorry about the BFN. I will be thinking about you guys and Lydia especially during this week.

May the celebration of the love that you have for one another give you added strength in your journey. Wishing you a happy anniversary!

Bluebird said...

I'm so sorry, honey. I was cheering for you.

And happy anniversary. I hope you enjoy your day together, and your bittersweet champagne.

alicia said...

oh no! so sorry hun,

happy anniversary! I am glad you have some positives to focus on!

B MoM said...

Sending you some hugs. by the outpouring of comments, I hope you know you've got quite a following who are rooting you on. Happy 6 year anniversary!

iamstacey said...

I'm so sorry for the BFN.

Happy Anniversary to you and your wonderful DH.